Today wimgo unveiled our first attempt at creating the world’s largest gelatin mold. Well, really the world’s largest freestanding green gelatin mold to be exact.
The project which has been conducted in secret by a small group of wimgo employees began late last year under the direction of our marketing guy, Joe Hopper. Joe explains through this interoffice memo sent late this afternoon:
When we first discussed building the world’s largest freestanding gelatin cube last year, many of you called us crazy. Many of you said it couldn’t be done. “How are you going to stir all that gelatin?” you said. “Won’t it just collapse?” you said. “Isn’t it a ‘health hazard’?” “Get back to work, now!” I heard it all. Well, I’m proud to say that today we took an enormous step forward in making this “crazy” dream a reality. Working in secrecy within an undisclosed storage facility located on our property, our clandestine team has been able to develop the optimal gelatin compound and fabrication method to produce without question, the world’s largest freestanding gelatin cube. We were able to fully test our theories today, resulting in a roughly 16’ x 16’ x 16’ gelatin mold that now rests near (and slightly over due to leakage) the running track on the East lawn.
The cube in its current state contains over 30,000 gallons of water and over 3 million fluid ounces of a proprietary gelatin compound that we believe will still qualify as “gelatin” in spite of a molecular structure that closely resembles what one might expect from combining stuff like epichlorohydrin and bisphenol-A. Not that we did. Whatever. We’re 93% sure it’s still edible. A few of us have tried some with only mild stomach irritation which could easily be attributed to a number of other factors including a surplus of pork rinds carelessly left in the patio break room.
As you know, this monumental feat soundly positions us to achieve our goal of officially setting a world record as the current record stands at a mere 7,700 gallons of gelatin, set by two small-minded Australians back in the 80’s whose names no one remembers. While there are still a few hurdles left to overcome, not the least of which is disposal and environmental impact, we believe today’s accomplishment validates our efforts and our requests to officially pursue this endeavor. With a few slight modifications, we should be able to perfect our official world’s largest freestanding gelatin cube by December 2010.
Regards,
Joe Hopper
So there you have it. Another exciting wimgo development. Stay tuned for additional information regarding the official world’s largest freestanding gelatin cube event.
-Wendy with wimgo